Rambling 1/Watch "Adaptation"

I should just start writing.  Then stuff will happen.  I always write just like the movie or book I just consumed.  It’s like diarrhea, or logorrhea really, spitting back out what I just digested.  Or didn’t even digest really, because I have barely even let it sit in my mind long enough to figure out what I think about it.  I was always good at imitation, but I can’t think of my own thing.  That’s what I want to do, think of something wholly new and profound.  I want to be a genius and shock the world.  I want everyone to like me and respect me and admire me.  Most of all admire.  Why do I like that?  Am I addicted to it?  Is it something I was given as a child and never weaned of? 

I just named the document “Rambling 1.”  Make sure you put quotation marks, grammar is important.  The sad thing about imitation is that it never really reaches the mark.  It can never do what was so great about the original, inspire people to imitation.  Or if it does, it becomes like this sad repetition of imitation after imitation, until the quality is so degraded it doesn’t even come close the original any more.  And then you could say you have something new.  It’s like what Kaufman does with his movies, it’s like looking in a mirror at another mirror, or looking at a picture of girl reading a book and its cover has a picture of a girl reading a book and its cover has a picture of a girl reading a book… It’s like that story I listened to on the New Yorker podcast, where the man made the miniatures that were “below the crust of the visible.”  Maybe that’s where genius lies.  Below the crust of the visible.  It’s there, but we can’t see it.  All we see is the flower that sprouted from the seed of genius.  We never know what the seed looks like.  Maybe the creator doesn’t either.  All anyone sees is the results.  But I didn’t explain it quite right, I don’t mean the inspiration, I mean the actual act of the creator, is below the crust of the visible, it’s not something any of us perceive but the result is something beautiful and amazing.  I think we all crave the opportunity to create.  It’s human nature.  Some of us create by taking things away from people.  It’s leaving our mark on the world.  Some people like to leave things behind.  It’s kind of like dogs peeing on fire hydrants.  Either way, we are remembered.  Since we are so ephemeral, it gives us comfort to know that.  I am already trying to figure out what I can do with this.  Can I turn it into a film review for Adaptation?  Or would I just look like an idiot?  Worse, a self-indulgent, conceited idiot.  Probably, but that wouldn’t stop me.  The whole concept of blogging is really self-indulgent anyway.  It’s the perfect example of the “leaving a mark” syndrome.  I think it’s kind of funny though.  Because of the whole archiving of data situation, no one really knows how long digital stuff will last.  Will it just float for eternity in the blogosphere?  Obviously it will disappear one day.  Every link becoming a 404 not found page, until no one remembers your poetic musings on politics, art, and culture; your clever title; or your false modesty. 

Now I’m going to ruin the movie, just because I feel like it.  At the end, when Meryl Streep is crying over her dead lover she says, “It's over. Everything, I did everything wrong. I want my life back. I want it back before everything got fucked up. I want to be a baby again. I want to be new. I want to be new.”  I love that quote.  That’s all.  I think it’s perfect.  Charlie Kaufman is a great writer.  I don’t love everything he’s done, but I liked this film.  If you haven't seen it and want to know what it's about go here: Adaptation.